We’re always telling children that it’s important not to complain about things and that it’s always better to be part of the solution, rather than the problem. If you don’t like your situation, then change it. We also tell children that it’s important to know when you can’t change things and to accept the world the way it is. In those situations it is our attitude that needs fixing. Knowing when to work towards change and knowing when to accept the status quo is a form of wisdom that can only be gained through experience.
Students confront problems everyday. Some are small like how to study for an exam or get a ride to school, and some large like how to support their friends who are in unhealthy relationships. All of these problems involve the choice of whether to intervene or do nothing and let the situation play itself out. Each choice is hard and leads to consequences.
There’s no denying that confidence plays a role in success. What’s harder to determine is just what kind of role. Some say that a confident mindset going into a task is the most important ingredient for success. Others say the only way to be confident is to actually achieve something first. Students must determine for themselves how to gain confidence in a way that supports their happiness and positive sense of self-worth.
Children are taught from a young age that when they want something they should wait their turn until they are granted permission. Waiting cultivates patience. It shows good manners. This attitude works in some settings but when it comes to gaining respect from others, the whole idea of waiting becomes burdensome and futile, especially when other people treat you poorly. Sometimes, children should be taught to advocate for themselves to get people’s attention about injustice. Figuring out when to do this in the right way is a life-long moral challenge.
The feeling of being afraid is something with which all students can identify. Fear paralyzes and diminishes one’s ability to think, learn and form positive human relationships. Fear is something to be avoided at all costs, and that the proper attitude is to be open and be willing to take risks without fear of failure. Yet, sometimes fear can lead people to make smart, safe decisions and provide security in the midst of an unstable situation.
While it is true that education is valuable to all of us at any age, it is also true that our energies and resources are limited and must be used wisely if we want to change the world into something better. Some say that children should be the focus because their minds are more easily shaped and influenced; others suggest that adults– who are actually in positions of power and influence– should take a front-and-center importance to our efforts to change minds and improve the world.
So many of our students feel pressure to be the perfect athlete, student or friend. This feeling is accompanied by a pervasive fear of failure and the possibility that they might let others down. When they fall short of perfection, students have important decisions to make about whether to keep pursuing it or be okay with something less. The decisions they make shape their sense of self-worth and draw the contours of their future relationships.
Adults sing the praise of the importance of patience. The advice to kids usually goes something like this: if you are patient and work hard over time, you put yourself in a position to accomplish great things. Success never comes easy. Life is a grind and you should develop a growth mindset to persevere through it. Though sometimes a person’s life experiences seems to teach the opposite lesson; that sometimes going after what you want quickly and aggressively will lead to even greater accomplishments. Impatience can be a virtue as well.
Students are no strangers to power. They have parents, coaches and teachers exerting power over them and telling them what to do. Students slowly develop a moral sensibility towards authority figures and are quick to point out when they feel power is being used in negative and positive ways.
All students know at some level what it feels like to be humiliated. When this happens, the person who is hurt has a decision to make– he/she can either buy into the criticism and be made to feel small and insignificant or he/she can resist feelings of inferiority and defeat the criticism through positive thinking. It takes tons of energy to build and maintain a strong self-esteem in the midst of criticism and humiliation but it’s energy well spent and leads to the development of a strong character.
While it is true that education is valuable to all of us at any age, it is also true that our energies and resources are limited and must be used wisely if we want to change the world into something better. Some say that children should be the focus because their minds are more easily shaped and influenced; others suggest that adults– who are actually in positions of power and influence– should take a front-and-center importance to our efforts to change minds and improve the world.
Setting life goals is an activity we are always encourages young people to do. The thinkings goes like this: if you set goals for your future, then you will become happier and successful because you know what you want. That being said, though, it’s very unclear just how we should plan out our lives, whether it is better to set small, attainable goals or shoot for long-term goals which are harder to see but inspire us to do the daily work necessary. Goal-setting is an extremely important skill in school, work and relationships.