“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” – Teach Different with Epictetus

Transcript

Steve (00:10)

Welcome everybody to the Teach Different podcast. Get ready for another episode with Jarvis, who for anyone who doesn’t know was a really, really important part of Teach Different’s Origin story is kind of how you would call it. I actually had Jarvis in one of my classes when I was an educator in the, in the Chicago school system. And basically his story and what he was going through at the time helped inspire this method we’re going to be using here. And the reason I’d inspired it is just because it helps us remember how sometimes, you know, when you feel like you don’t have a voice or you need to say something to the world, but you’re not able to unleashing that through a framework where you’re having a conversation with people and you’re able to voice, you know, who you are can make all the difference. And not everybody has that. So this is what we do, right? At Teach Different, we give people the opportunity and we’re going to give Jarvis the opportunity again today. For those of you not familiar, the Teach Different method is basically a framework for dialogue, for a really good discourse and a good conversation. starts with a quote. We’ve got one from Epictetus today, who is a famous Stoic philosopher. And we’re going to break down the quote and we’re going to go through the claim of the quote. What does it mean to each of us share some experiences, go back and forth on that, and then make sure that we do the counterclaim to the quote as well, which is essentially

coming from a different perspective. It’s not always disagreeing with what we’ve already come up with, but it’s just acknowledging that the world is a little bit more complicated than it seems at times. And the minute you feel like you’ve got a truth that hasn’t moved and that you don’t need to think anymore, think again. We’re gonna then do the questions, okay? So questions are gonna emerge organically. We call it essential questions. And the hope is, you know, we’re going to get some questions here that will help us think about life in a different way and maybe apply some of the things that we’re talking about to our own life. And I don’t know, get into a better spot with things and, and become more wise. So that’s how this works. That’s the method. I got Jarvis here and I’ll let you weigh in first Jarvis when I read the quote a couple of times and I’ll just keep repeating the quote. Again, this is Epictetus, he’s a Stoic philosopher. It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. So Jarvis, us off here. What are your thoughts on the quote?

 

Jarvis Funches (03:02)

For sure. For sure. My thoughts on Epictetus, on his quote, was that, truly agree with, it is not what happened to you, but it’s how you react to it. I agree with this quote because you do have to have some type of self control and you do have to understand that life is not always peace and cream as we all would love it to be, but it’s not that. So in ways you have to learn how to kind of just pick and choose the battles, as I can say. So for an example, like just a couple of days ago, I was just at a job interview to where I was going to be a salesman. And quite frankly, my face and what I was going to be giving off didn’t fit the criteria. I was kind of down about that situation because I was thinking about stereotyping and all of those other things like that. I stopped to think to myself, like, just because it’s one door that closed doesn’t mean that it’s going to be a lot of more doors that’s going to close. So I didn’t lose my faith and my drive to go find another job and another one. So I felt like I took that and what Epictetus was saying, I took that to heart because it’s like, I could have took that and stopped. I could have just quit right then and now because it happened to me. They closed the door on my face. I could have gotten my feelings to just ultimately shut it down, but I didn’t do that. I kept going. So I kind of embraced that quote and I embraced it and I put it on my life’s been so, and that’s how I maneuver with it. So I agree with that. What do you feel like?

 

Steve (04:55)

Yeah. So you essentially just reading back what you just said, you, you could have been mad. You could have lost some faith. You could have said, I’m done looking for a job. Everybody is going to be saying the same thing, but you’re like, no, I’m just going to bounce and try something else and not let it get in the way. So, I mean, that’s, it’s one of those easier said than done things. I think what you just did there is difficult because there are moments, right? Where you do kind of lose it. But the claim, like I like it. I like that. I have to say, when I think about it, it is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. I got a lot of experiences that fit this. And I do really agree with this quote. I, yeah, I was going to say, I’m going to go to my mom actually. She, here’s a quick story about me, seven years old or six years old or something. I was getting picked on at school and I came home and I was crying or something. I was not doing well. And I was telling her what was going on and

 

Jarvis Funches (05:56)

So hit me with your best one. Hit me with your best one. 

 

Steve (06:23)

I’ll never forget this. She looked at me and I’m going to paraphrase because I can’t remember the exact quote, but she said something like this. You know, next time they start picking on you, you should tell them that they must not know you really well. Because if they knew you, they wouldn’t only point out these problems with you. I was so confused.

 

Jarvis Funches (07:06)

I’m confused now.

 

Steve (07:06)

Did you say that again? I remember just asking her to repeat it. She said, next time they pick on you, tell them that they must not know you very well. Because if they knew you, they wouldn’t only point out these problems with you. Okay, so it threw me, right? It should have thrown you. I don’t know if any of the listeners right now are getting this one, but here’s what I understood it to mean later. And here’s how it fits with the quote. She was teaching me that I can react however I want to getting picked on. If I want to play a little stupid mind game and go and make them feel

like weird next time it happens, I’ll just tell them like, look, none of your words hurt me. Like I got many, many worse things that you don’t even know about. You think you’re hurting my feelings. You actually are just saying some of my good traits. It’s just like a mind game that I, she was trying to teach me that I can decide to play whatever mind game I want to play when I’m getting picked on is kind of how I understood it. But I don’t know, this is where I would like other people to weigh in. Like, what do you think this thing means? But anyway, it was the mind. It was, at any point you can decide to be depressed and hurt, or you can like switch up your emotions and make a joke out of something or I don’t know, have something not bother you.

 

Jarvis Funches (08:27)

Mm-hmm. For sure. Can I weigh in on that? I believe your mom taught you how to… I think she taught you a great defense mechanism. So instead of you feeling weird about what somebody else is saying about you, you actually make them feel weird for even speaking on the things that they’re talking about. Because now it’s like, I’m trying to be funny, but it’s not even funny. It’s like the guy just shutting me down in the door. It’s not even bothering the guy. So now at this point it’s like…

 

Steve (09:04)

There you go. There you go. That’s it.

 

Jarvis Funches (09:23)

I’m just going to stop talking to this guy. Stop bothering him because now at this point, it used to be funny. It used to get to him, but now it’s just bouncing right off of him. I love that she taught you. Now you are playing mind games with them. So now it’s making them like, what?

 

Steve (09:40)

It’s defensive. That’s a really good word, Jarvis. It was defensive. I never thought about it like that. You’re right.

 

Jarvis Funches (09:45)

Yeah. ‘Cause it’s a great defense mechanism. So it’s like, instead of when they send the harmful things to you, like she said, they really knew you, they knew the worst of things about you. So it’s like, now that she put you in that, try to, that mind frame. So it’s like, you’re just saying that my shirt’s dirty. You don’t even know that I have way worse problems. So the joke’s on you. So it’s like, now she’s teaching and training to talk. Cause it’s like, wow, mom.

 

Steve (10:09)

That’s right.

 

Jarvis Funches (10:15)

It is worse than things that happen to me that these people don’t even know and then I’m letting this little stuff happen to me man, it’s nothing.

 

Steve (10:21)

That’s it. It gets it, it gets it, what’s the word? It puts it in perspective. You know how we always say, know, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Okay, live that wisdom. You know, really show that words really don’t matter. And they don’t in a certain way, because I can play with words too. I’ll just make you think this is weird. And now, like you’re saying,

 

Jarvis Funches (10:29)

Mm-hmm. For sure.

 

Steve (10:51)

Defensive. Let’s go get somebody else. This guy isn’t reacting the way we want.

 

Jarvis Funches (10:52)

Mm-hmm. Exactly. It’s not even funny no more. I’m just thinking of that scenario. If it was usually a typical guy that I can run jokes on and get the classroom laughing and now it’s more like the jokes that I’m saying, it’s like the guy’s saying them right back but he’s saying, I don’t even care. So now it’s like, I’m not even getting the same laughs. Now it’s making me feel like, do I gotta come up with better jokes or do I gotta find somebody new? You know what I’m saying?

 

Steve (11:25)

You tore their heart out, you tore their heart out. And to relate it back to the quote, is not what happens to you, it’s how you react that matters. You had to not react with hurt for a moment and collect yourself and react the way you wanted to in order to accomplish that.

 

Jarvis Funches (11:27)

Like, like, it’s over with. Mm-hmm, for sure.

 

Steve (11:53)

And I think that this is where so many people get caught up and they feel like they don’t have any choice as to what they’re doing. People are forcing them to do this. You know, I go home, I’m with someone that I don’t like in my house and I go home. You know I’m going to get in a bad mood. And the minute I see that other person. They make me in a bad mood. Or I go to work, I know I’m gonna be looked at by the boss and I know that they’re gonna criticize me for something, so I’m gonna go in with a certain attitude and I’m gonna be ready the moment I see him. And they’re gonna get me in a bad mood. It’s always out, it’s outward. It’s the things that are happening to you that we blame for our… whatever, our emotional state, but…

 

Jarvis Funches (12:52)

Our emotions, our problems. I get exactly what you’re saying.

 

Steve (12:56)

You know, but this is saying what? It’s saying, can you react however you want at any point? On some level, I guess you can.

 

Jarvis Funches (13:09)

I mean, I’ma weigh in on that. I feel like you, as all human beings, and I’m a very spiritual person, God gave everybody freedom, freedom of will. So to be honest, you can react however you want to, but there’s a thing called cause and effect, now that you’re an adult. So if you do choose to react in any manner that’s not correct, you will be punished for it. And that’s the cause and effect. you like the quotes say, it’s not what happened to you, it’s how you react to it. that like as an adult, you just can’t, just because your child makes you mad, you just can’t do anything. You just can’t whoop the child, because somebody will give you road rage. You just can’t ram into people’s cars. Like you just can’t do that because the cause and effect of you doing that, yeah, they made me mad. The fact was me hitting their car, but now you’re also in jail or better yet, someone probably smashed your car and now you just, it’s – It’s a domino effect. I truly do believe in it. I believe that quote. Because everything in life is a domino effect. you could choose to wake up and just be like, this guy peed me off, I’m going to have at him. But if you were in the work setting, now you’d have lost your job. Or even better yet, somebody had to press charges on you. So you got to hold your composure. They say…If you can’t control it, well, control everything you can control and the things that you can’t control, just let it be. So you can only control yourself. So that’s the best thing you want to do is control yourself because you don’t want to crash out. That’s the new word, crashing out nowadays. You don’t want to crash out. You don’t want that.

 

Steve (14:55)

I’m glad you mentioned the control thing. I’m sorry, go ahead, go ahead.

 

Jarvis Funches (14:58)

No, you got it. Because that was the only thing I was going to say anyway.

 

Steve (15:02)

get what that control quote that you said, basically, you know, know what you can control and then everything out of your control, like let it go on some level or you’re going to go crazy. That’s stoicism as well. Epictetus has some quotes about control and you know, it’s not a coincidence because they’re related. The minute you realize you can’t control

 

Jarvis Funches (15:05)

Yeah. one.

 

Steve (15:30)

99.9999 % of the world. And you realize, even though all that stuff out there, I can’t control. What do I control? My decisions.

 

Jarvis Funches (15:46)

Mmm.

 

Steve (15:51)

My reaction. That’s all I got.

 

Jarvis Funches (15:57)

That’s crazy because that’s really all you have. You just hit it right on the head. At the end of the day, you said, at the whole world, at 99.99%, you only could only control your decisions. You could even have a child and you can’t even control their decisions. You really only can control you. So it’s like to even run yourself crazy on even trying to control something else, I just feel like you… You firstly, you’re gonna mentally destroy yourself and then you physically gonna go crazy.

 

Steve (16:31)

And then, you know, when you said you, you can control you. Again, there’s a big, there’s a lot to me. There’s a lot to you. My arm, my hand, my leg, my foot. I can get my foot amputated. I can get someone to break my arm. I can get, you know, cancer. I can get your body isn’t even yours. This is hardcore stuff of what the Stoics say. And this is why this philosophy grew out of pain and suffering because Epictetus was actually a someone who was captive and he was kept as a slave and was like lived in a dungeon for a year or two. And they tortured him and he tried to obviously survive it. And at some point he had to realize that the you in him, you can’t include your body parts because people are going to use those to get to you. They’re going to hurt you and they’re going to cause pain and they’re going to try to get you to do things.

 

Jarvis Funches (17:45)

Mm-hmm.

 

Steve (18:09)

The only thing you have is your own decision as to how you’re going to react to something. And it’s crazy when you think about it that way, that even our bodies are not ours in 200 years, there’s going to be no Jarvis and no Steve.

 

Jarvis Funches (18:23)

very much. For sure.

 

Steve (18:33)

The physical, the physical. Like what you’re seeing, what you’re hearing. That’s not ours.

You know, anyway, this is crazy, ⁓

 

Jarvis Funches (18:42)

Yeah, that guy is deep. No, it’s deep. I get what you’re saying, because it’s deep. Not that you’re saying it. It’s very deep. now you got me thinking at the point of like, if it’s like that, then if I really only control my decisions, like, oh man.

 

Steve (19:02)

Phew, that’s it. That’s the only thing that’s real. Only thing you should be thinking about, I don’t know if it’s the only thing, but it’s the primary thing. That’s it, your decisions. And they use the phrase, the Stoics use this phrase called making progress. Think about it like gaining wisdom equals making progress. The Stoics say things like, until you realize that all you really control are your own decisions and how you react to the world, you’re never going to make progress. Only way to make progress is to feel that.

 

Jarvis Funches (19:51)

Hmm.

 

Steve (19:52)

It’s crazy, but we’re going to flip the script though, right? Like take a deep breath because this is one of those, it’s a philosophy, right? And it’s got a point and, and, ⁓ but we want to, let’s treat it fairly this quote. I’m going to read it again. And then I’m going to let you push back first Jarvis and let’s, let’s really kind of put this quote as a practical advice and let’s see whether or not it’s really.

 

Jarvis Funches (19:55)

Alright.

 

Steve (20:21)

realistic to utilize it, you know, for every situation. It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. What’s a counterclaim?

 

Jarvis Funches (20:26)

Right. I don’t actually, I disagree with him.

 

Jarvis Funches (20:46)

and I say this truly coming from myself as a standpoint. I lost loved ones before and depression is real and it mentally destroyed me. all I projected was all of my depression thoughts. So it was like when that death happened to me, I couldn’t control. I couldn’t control what I did afterward because it was like my emotions were so hung up into it. I was making decisions off emotions. I wasn’t consciously there. It was just like emotions. was just so depressed and weeping from emotions to the fact that I wasn’t even maneuvering off my subconscious. I’m maneuvering out of straight emotions. And there’s people out there. And there’s people out there that’s stronger than others. That’s why I say I disagree because it is some hard punches in life that can really give you a gut blow and that can knock you off your square, seriously. And there’s a lot of people that’s strong and take it and there’s a lot of people that’s not. So that’s why I disagree with it because losing family or losing something that truly, truly meant something to you, an idol or something that you just…

 

Steve (21:57)

But it’s bad.

 

Jarvis Funches (22:12)

solely tied to it, man, can crush you. That’s a real punch. What you doing?

 

Steve (22:18)

And notice you said it, it can crush you. The outside thing can crush you. It’s not just your attitude. You know, if you’re sitting there and you’re in a ⁓ ditch and someone comes by with one of those big machines and starts pouring in dirt and it’s filling up.

 

Jarvis Funches (22:23)

Yes. Yeah

 

Steve (22:48)

I don’t care what your attitude is. You’re getting, you’re in trouble. You like, and you got to acknowledge that and that’s what matters. Here’s the point. Your attitude. Yeah, it might be a little bit better if you’re sitting there and you’re thinking, well, I’m not bothered by this in my last minute of life. You know, but it’s just, it’s like sometimes the world is, it’s too powerful.

 

Jarvis Funches (22:59)

Meh. Mmm.

 

Steve (23:22)

It’s too much, right?

 

Jarvis Funches (23:24)

There you go. There you go. And when you mean by too powerful and too much, it’s like, that’s why I keep saying the world can give you a strong gut shot. I feel like all humans have been there. We all got that wind knocked out of us by the world because we all have our own fairy tale. And this is what I mean by getting the wind knocked out of Because you have a fairy tale of a life that you painted or things that you wished for it to be a certain way. And it’s just like a kid painting a picture and you just come destroy it. It wasn’t because it wasn’t that you hit her, it was the principle. She was tied to that picture and then you came and destroyed it like it was nothing. And that’s how I feel about life. I grew up. I’m around people for years of my life. I’m expecting you to be here forever. And then it’s like, the hit come the world, just take them. Like how you expect from me? Like I’m not, they don’t walk around equipping people. well, when you lose a loved one, this is what’s going to go around. So you just cannot care. Like I’ve never seen nobody fully equipped to even lose a family member. Or, you know, and I just feel like I’m solely tied to my family because that’s all I have. And we saw R.R. is a small family anyway. So when you do lose somebody, it hits hard. And I go into a deep depression with that. And I know there’s other people out there too that’s like that too. It’s just…

 

Steve (24:58)

Yeah. You just have to, you have to admit it. You know, this feels this quote, sometimes when I read it, it doesn’t feel like it’s admitting that life is more powerful than we are sometimes.

 

Jarvis Funches (24:59)

Overwhelming, I could say. You sure?

 

Steve (25:21)

I mean, I want to pick up the pieces and go back to the claim and just think of different times or. when people I know or even myself, when I was able to, to, you know, not let life overcome me. And I mean, all I got is a dream I had once where I was being faced. I mean, this dream, I’ve got to share this. And here’s why it happened 20 years ago. And I’m talking about it. How about that? But I was being chased by someone in an alley and I was, you know, these alleys, how you turn really quickly, think of yourself in like a maze. And I’m just running and someone’s right behind me trying to kill me. And I ran, I was running and I was trying to like turn really quickly so I could lose him and he wouldn’t know which direction I went.

 

Jarvis Funches (26:25)

Mm-hmm.

 

Steve (26:29)

because I knew it was a maze. And I did that and I did it. And then finally I figured out he’s not behind me anymore. It worked. I was cutting those corners. Like, okay, I got it. And then I cut a corner standing right there.

 

Jarvis Funches (26:40)

I’m missing. He ran right into him.

 

Steve (26:48)

I ran right into him. He was just standing there. And I’m telling you, this is, it was the most, I’ve never felt since then, more fear than right then. What I felt when I realized the person that I thought was behind me is in front of me. And then my worst fears came true. He lit me on fire somehow. he, I was experiencing my own death. Cause I was like,

 

Jarvis Funches (27:02)

Hmm. You heard me?

 

Steve (27:22)

Man, thought he was behind me and here he is and he set me on fire. And then here’s the crazy part. At whatever point, I don’t know why, I accepted it. I said to myself, all right, this is it. I don’t know what else to say other than I accepted it. The minute I accepted it.

 

Jarvis Funches (27:45)

So, yes.

 

Steve (27:55)

Everything changed. Number one, the fire went out. This is after I basically said, okay, I’m dying today. The minute I accepted it, the fire went out. I saw his face, his face changed. It went from that terror to a little bit more uncertainty. And then here’s the crazy part. I held out my hand, not to shake his hand, but like I held it out like this and I looked at him and I looked at my hand and then I set my own hand on fire just by looking at it.

 

Jarvis Funches (28:45)

What?

 

Steve (28:45)

He turned around and ran. And it was over. Okay. So look, don’t, don’t ask me why that happened. I’ve, I’ve tried to understand this for so long. The only thing I got is this. The minute you accept something and you stop running and you kind of let things happen in a way, it doesn’t matter how bad they are. You’re going to become all powerful.

 

Jarvis Funches (28:58)

woman.

 

Steve (29:27)

You know, you’re going to conquer your fear. I don’t know what else to say.

 

Jarvis Funches (29:35)

I feel like what you’re trying to say, Ian, with the quote is basically saying, like, as long as you mentally prepared. That’s why I feel like you can apply that to life every day. Because now that you said it, and I was just sitting right here thinking, what he been saying the whole time is it’s a mental thing. The stronger your mental is, the stronger you are. Your decisions are the only thing you can control. If my mind is weak, which is my strongest muscle in my body, I’m weak. No matter what happens to me, it’s my move.

 

Steve (30:09)

There you go. There you go. There you go, because your body is not yours.

 

Jarvis Funches (30:18)

But my mind is the strongest muscle. So if I already prepared and I’m okay and I accepted it mentally, it won’t even hurt. It won’t even phase.

 

Steve (30:32)

Your body will follow. You will conquer all earthly enemies. It’s crazy, man. I know I haven’t told you that one.

 

Jarvis Funches (30:46)

Man, like that’s crazy though, Mr. Fouts. Like, what the hell?

 

Steve (30:52)

I don’t know. it’s it’s it. Here’s how it affects me to this day. I realize that my greatest powers won’t come out until I’m on the brink. Like until I’m pushed, if you know what I mean, I need to get to a point where things are so dire and so bleak, then I can kick into that gear. I know it’s gonna happen. I know it’s there, so I don’t have to fear it. It’s not like I walk around and I look for dire situations.

 

Jarvis Funches (31:29)

Mm-hmm.

 

Steve (31:39)

and go look for, you know, go look for fights in clubs, you know, just stop with drama, but you have to, if you have it in the back of your mind, you know, you’re good. You got the mind thing. You got the mind thing. The mind’s like you were saying, your strongest muscle. So why not utilize it? You know, cause if you don’t utilize it, you really have not that much in a way.

 

Jarvis Funches (31:39)

Nah. No, Vice and Clubs, is your brand. You’re a waste of a space. wasted, like not even a waste of space, just, it’s exactly chasing a nut. it’s just like, that’s why I like doing this so much. Cause like, that just unlocked to something totally different than what we did and what I even expected to get out of the conversation. Like to be mentally prepared, like, and that means, to be alive is to be aware.

 

Steve (32:09)

Yeah. You’re like a squirrel. Yeah.

 

Jarvis Funches (32:37)

So the more you observant, the more you accept, the more you acknowledge, the stronger your mental get. You know it’s gonna happen, so you already mentally prepared for it.

 

Steve (32:45)

Yeah. Who’s gonna hurt you?

 

Jarvis Funches (32:53)

You said, that’s what I’m saying? Because you know what’s going to happen, you mentally prepared for it. So you basically embracing the situation. It’s no longer like you said in your dream, I no longer ran from him. I embraced it. And when I embraced it…

 

Steve (32:54)

You. He ran from me!

 

Jarvis Funches (33:08)

So you see what I’m saying? It’s all about mentally preparing yourself and embracing the moment. You be more empowered. Damn.

 

Steve (33:15)

You, You know, going back to your interview real quick that you went to, know, that kind of, you know, whatever, didn’t go.

 

Jarvis Funches (33:22)

as strong as weapon is. My interview, had ⁓ a salesman, I was supposed to be helping them sell Xfinity Wifi Box and gear and stuff like that, but they told me by going through and doing stuff like that, my neck tattoos, face tattoos, that I don’t look appropriate to certain customers or certain people because they might think that I’m a stern stereotype and stuff like that. It did knock me down in a way because I started thinking, here they go again. defying me off of my past or who I was. But it was like, I ain’t let that stop me though, because I was like, you know what? I work for a better company than this before, and they ain’t turn me around. And then it was just an ambition in me, period, like not to quit. just something in my brain just kept whispering to me like, this not it. This not the final say so. This not it. Like we could keep going. And it was like, I ain’t even get upset at them because like the quote said, I was already mentally prepared for it. I already knew just because I walked in there with my button up and my tie and stuff like that, I knew it was a chance that I wasn’t going to get the job after some of my face tattoos and my neck and stuff like that. So I was already slightly mentally prepared. I just didn’t project the full negativity off on my future. So I still looked at it know, it’s a 50-50. So I’m going go in with my head up. It might get it. I might not get it. But at least I…

 

Steve (34:32)

That’s what I was going to ask. Okay.

 

Jarvis Funches (34:59)

went and tried, I didn’t give up without trying. You see what I’m saying? But it was all a mental thing though.

 

Steve (35:03)

What else can you do, you know, because you’re acknowledging the reality and you can’t control their little perceptions or what they talk about in their boardrooms about hiring employees with tattoos. You know, even the guy that said, hey, we can’t do this. He probably has a wife who has a tattoo, but he’s got to a rule. You know, there’s so much out of our control.

 

Jarvis Funches (35:25)

Right.

 

Steve (35:31)

Okay, I got you. So you were mentally prepared for that. Yeah.

 

Jarvis Funches (35:35)

Yeah, because it was like already slightly knew, but it just go back to the quote because he already… We cracked the code.

 

Jarvis Funches (35:44)

and what he was teaching me that I didn’t even know is that I was already mentally prepared for somebody to tell me no. So instead of me getting my feelings about them telling me no, was like, hmm, I kind of figured this was going to happen anyway. So okay, well, thank you for the opportunity. Thank you so much for even giving me the chance. And I walked out with my head up high and then know, like, it’s more doors is going to open. So that’s how I just, I just embraced it, but it was just crazy.

 

Steve (35:52)

There you go. Yeah. Positive mindset, I think is tied in to a quote like this, you know, because if people who are positive and can sustain that, they realize, hey, all they got is their, their positive attitude, you know, cause if they’re not getting it from other people. So I get that. Tell me this. Are there any questions that are constructing from this in your mind?

 

Jarvis Funches (36:15)

for sure. for sure.

 

Steve (36:36)

Any essential questions?

 

Jarvis Funches (36:38)

My question is to all the listeners and to all the people that’s on the podcast is like, when do we learn how to truly tap into our brain? Because off the quote that we truly heard today is that it really only relies in your tempo, which is your brain. So when do we really truly tap into the potential that’s up here? That’s where my question is. Yeah, well how you doing?

 

Steve (37:05)

Or how? How about that? you do it, right? I don’t know if it’s an age thing, but yeah, I got you. I got you. Because that’s the power. That’s what you were saying about your muscle. That’s our muscle. That’s our superpower. How do we make sure that we don’t treat it like it’s like our hand or the other parts of us that we don’t have control of?

 

Jarvis Funches (37:12)

Yeah, fix it up. Misusing it. For sure. Misusing it. Mishandling it. Mishandling our brain for sure. Even that speaking. Not utilizing it. And I love that you said that. I love that word, not utilizing it. Because if you don’t have enough knowledge about your temple or about the powers that you can’t unlock using your temple, you would never even try to use your temple. Just like I was. I’m not perfect either. I just learned this today. Just off of…

 

Steve (37:40)

not utilized.

 

Jarvis Funches (38:01)

Calm down, patient, let your brain, talk to your brain, think, let it all soak in. Stop trying to be so physical or even better yet, stop using your emotions for everything, you know?

 

Steve (38:16)

So I like your question. Yeah. I just add to it. I would say, you know, how do we know how to, how to always like unleash that power that we have, regardless of circumstance, regardless of what happens to us, always stay in tune with that power. Cause if we act like we don’t have it, we don’t have it. And if we know we have it, we do have it. It’s, can decide, you know, how to, how to be strong, you know, it’s not all about your opponent. It’s what you’ve got inside you, you know,

 

Jarvis Funches (38:48)

for short. Mm-hmm.

 

Steve (38:58)

And that’s inspiring.

 

Jarvis Funches (39:00)

I think truly, and this is my last one though, but I just think truly though, as a human being, I think our emotions kind of jeopardize us to not utilize our brains because it’s like you said, it’s not what happened to you, but it’s how you respond to it. A lot of people don’t have the knowledge to sit back, analyze the situation and to actually think about all the outcomes. So you have a lot of people out that’s in the world that react off of temporary decisions or temporary emotions. And I feel like that’s a great example ⁓ of today and nowadays because… A lot of people not talking about utilizing your brain muscle. A lot of people not talking about your decisions are what affect you mostly. A lot of people not saying like 99 % you not controlling. You only control your decision. Everybody else walking around her thinking that they actually control something. You see what I’m saying? And that’s where we all go wrong because like you said, we don’t control nothing but our decisions, but about us thinking.

 

Steve (40:06)

Yeah.

 

Jarvis Funches (40:15)

We control something. It triggers our emotions when we don’t feel like we controlling it. And now everybody going haywire.

 

Steve (40:17)

The Well said. Well said. When you think you’re controlling things that are not in your control, ⁓ that right there, here’s a perfect segue to conclude this Jarvis. I have the Epictetus handbook. The handbook is what he called it. It’s that short book that I got for you and I still haven’t given it to you. And you’re gonna get that. Okay, I promise.

 

Jarvis Funches (40:38)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, for sure.

 

Steve (40:50)

But you can read some of his other sayings and the thoughts that he had when you have some time. takes, it’s a little dense. It takes a little getting used to the way he talks. But if you listen to what he’s saying, there’s this type of wisdom in everything. And he called it a handbook because he thought of it as something that every human should have to help remember that superpower.

 

Jarvis Funches (40:59)

Mm-hmm.

 

Steve (41:21)

This is your handbook of life. This is that thing that no one gave you that he’s giving us to get through life and to be prosperous. And anyway, make progress, you know, be wise. A manual on life. That’s what it is, the handbook. I think the word is inkyridion or something like that, but it translates.

 

Jarvis Funches (41:35)

Basically like a manual on life. Investing in you, a manual on life.

 

Steve (41:50)

at the hand as the handbook as the handbook. ⁓ This was a pleasure as always. Thanks for the conversation. We will we’ll be back together soon. I want to find out tree, you know what he’s up to. ⁓ I haven’t been in contact with him. We’ll get him.

 

Jarvis Funches (42:05)

He just recently shoot some skits, man. Even if the podcast listening to it, man, he be shouting out his little social media that he be having going on. just see him doing some skits in the neighborhood with a couple of the kids at the basketball court, just being a great community activist. I told you, he’s a great person. Even though he’s in a wheelchair, he really do be outside. And in the community, the community really does love Parris. He’s a very, very, very great community activist.

 

Steve (42:31)

Yeah. That’s encouraging. And, ⁓ well, I’m looking forward to getting together with him again. Thank you, Jarvis. We will, we will talk to you soon and thank you to all the listeners to Teach Different podcasts.