“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Maya Angelou – Determination
How do we know when to give up on change?
We’re always telling children that it’s important not to complain about things and that it’s always better to be part of the solution, rather than the problem. If you don’t like your situation, then change it. We also tell children that it’s important to know when you can’t change things and to accept the world the way it is. In those situations it is our attitude that needs fixing. Knowledge of when to work towards change and when to accept the status quo is a form of wisdom only gained through experience.
Join Steve and Dan Fouts for a conversation about determination using the Teach Different 3-Step conversation method.
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Image source: Flickr | York College ISLGP
Transcript
Steve Fouts 00:02
Hey everybody, Steve and Dan Fouts here. We are teaching different with poet and civil rights activist Maya Angelou with a quote about determination. Here’s the quote. “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” She’s offering straightforward advice about how to react to situations in life that aren’t going your way, or that you don’t like. We all find ourselves in these types of moments throughout life. Nothing goes perfectly for everybody. She’s giving advice on how to approach things when they aren’t going your way. What claim would you say she’s making? “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
Dan Fouts 01:14 – Claim
Very positive, I think. Don’t settle for things. If you don’t like something, go out and change it. She was a civil rights activist, so this quote makes a lot of sense, given her life trajectory. But, then she says, if you can’t change it, you have to change your way of thinking. Maybe get a little more creative or divert your energy somewhere else. What’s interesting is this idea of self-improvement. It motivates us to do things to make our situations better. We also need to understand that when we can’t change things, then we have to change the way we think about them. A very empowering quote.
Steve Fouts 02:05
Do you like this for the claim? Like you were saying, if you don’t like your situation, go out and change it. If that doesn’t work out, then change your attitude.
Dan Fouts 02:22
Yeah.
Steve Fouts 02:24
This is advice from someone who has credibility as a civil rights activist.
Dan Fouts 02:33
Just to jump in here. I don’t think she’s saying give up, necessarily. It’s about changing the way you’re thinking about it. Don’t think of it as a complete failure, instead think this isn’t going to work, and change your attitude to go after something else.
Steve Fouts 02:49
Okay, you’re right. She’s not necessarily saying to forget about what you were trying to change, go about your day, and pretend you’re happy. She’s not saying that. You can still be determined and frustrated, but you can’t be a Negative Nelly, someone who is always talking about how things aren’t going their way. That’s counterproductive. If you have a class of kids, what’s a good prompt for the conversation? What’s a good way to get this conversation going? What experiences could you draw out of them?
Dan Fouts 03:35
Have kids talk about times when they didn’t like something, so they changed it, and it worked out. Then have them talk about things that they didn’t like, and wanted to change. They tried, but they failed. How did they respond? Did they give up, get angry, do something negative, or did they do what Maya Angelou is suggesting? Did they change their attitude about it and move on? That would be a fascinating conversation.
Steve Fouts 04:10
I would even push it and ask if there is something in their life right now that isn’t going the way they want, and it’s making it difficult for them to stay positive. Let’s go to the counterclaim to see if we can create some tension in this conversation. “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” What’s another way to look at the world that calls this claim into question?
Dan Fouts 04:51 – Counterclaim
Well, if you can’t change it, instead of changing your attitude, get more clever. Keep going after it. Maybe you didn’t try the right approach. You tried 10 approaches, but maybe that 11th one is going to be the successful one. Don’t give up. Instead of changing your attitude and thinking you didn’t really want this anyway, keep going, persevere. It would be interesting to hear some examples from the kids about a time when they persisted at something. How did it turn out? Then, ask what they are currently working on that they haven’t “given up on” or changed their attitude about. What are you working on right now? That would be fascinating. You might learn a lot about the students in your room, and they could learn a lot from each other.
Steve Fouts 05:55
Absolutely. I really do believe some students are going to share experiences where something wasn’t going their way, and they changed their attitude. They kept trying to accomplish things. The changing of the attitude was a tool to be more convincing to someone.
Dan Fouts 06:24
How about this as an example. You’re trying to be friends with someone, and you realize that you have to change your attitude about this. You want this more than the other person. So, you back off. Then, all of a sudden, that person wants to be your friend. You were coming on too strong. That’s kind of in between these different aspects of the quote.
Steve Fouts 06:55
Who knows, maybe that was her project with the quote, trying to get people to realize that if you change your attitude, you can accomplish things. I think it’s also fair to say that changing your attitude is resigning on some level. The world isn’t going well for you, and you have to accept it for what it is and try to work around it.
Dan Fouts 07:29
Learning to accept is not surrender. It’s a coping mechanism that can be really healthy for us.
Steve Fouts 07:35 – Essential Question
Exactly. There is a lot of depth in this. Well, let’s get to the essential question. How do we know when to give up on change? When you find yourself in a situation that you don’t like, there’s going to come a time when you have to make the decision to move on or change your attitude. That’s another way to approach this question. I think this will bring out good stuff.
Dan Fouts 07:38
Definitely.
Steve Fouts 08:40
We hope you enjoyed Maya Angelou this week with her quote about determination. Make sure you visit our Conversation Library where we have many conversations like this, each with a different quote, a sample claim, counterclaim, and an essential question to get you started. Take care, everybody. We will talk to you soon.
Dan Fouts 09:21
All right. Take care
