“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” Epictetus – Stress Management
Do we control our own actions?
Life throws unexpected events at us which take us by surprise. When crisis happens, we feel out of control. We are left to react in the best ways we can to protect ourselves and improve our situations, but we often feel like our actions don’t matter in the face of an indifferent world.
Join Steve and Dan Fouts for a conversation about stress management using the Teach Different 3-Step conversation method.
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Transcript
Steve Fouts 00:03
Hey everybody, Steve and Dan Fouts here. We are teaching different with Roman stoic Epictetus with a quote about stress management. “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” This is one of my favorite quotes from Epictetus, because it deals with the issue of control. What can you do to function in your life and overcome challenges? There’s an environment out there that might make things difficult for you. You have to figure out how to act in this environment, but sometimes the environment overtakes you. Other times you make a change in yourself, and see how you can affect your environment as well. I think this is a good quote for students to think about their responsibility to themselves and to other people. What claim do you think he’s making, Dan?
Dan Fouts 01:11 – Claim
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. Many things in life are going to occur that are unexpected. They take us by surprise. Epictetus is saying that you can’t control life events, but you can control how you react to them. I think of this in a behavioral way. What are the behaviors that you should do when life throws you a curveball? You’re in control. I think Epictetus is saying that you are in control, your reaction matters.
Steve Fouts 02:00
Exactly. I took a more emotional approach to the word react. I thought of when you’re being challenged. Think of being bullied, or any time you feel threatened, it’s how you react that is going to either get you out of that situation, or make that situation worse. I think of it as an emotional reaction. Reacting to unpleasant occurrences. What’s a counterclaim?
Dan Fouts 02:41 – Counterclaim
This is a darker way to look at it, but I think some people have this perspective. They look at life, see what happens to them, and feel powerless. They don’t feel like they have control or power to change their reactions to what happens. They’re just along for the ride. I guess the word that is coming to my mind is a fatalistic approach to the world. Does that make sense?
Steve Fouts 03:22
Students have to go through different things growing up. There may be family financial issues, health problems, a lack of supervision or guidance, or nobody to look up to. You can’t say that their reaction to these things is going to be the sole determining factor for their success. They’re a product of their environment. That’s the way I’ve always looked at it. Their environment has such a strong influence on them, and their ability to control it is limited. They can react to it, and they have a responsibility to do that, but there’s just a lot to it. Here’s an essential question you can use to wrap up the conversation. Do we control our own actions?
Dan Fouts 04:24 – Essential Question
I think a really good example is the Coronavirus crisis right now. You want to talk about a life event that just sort of happened, that no one knew was going to happen, but it’s upon us. The question just kind of smacks you in the face. Do we control our own actions? Think about what the government is asking us to do – social distancing and sheltering in place. People are changing their behavior to deal with this crisis, and in doing that, they’re gaining a sense of control over an otherwise very chaotic situation.
Steve Fouts 05:10
They’re reacting, hopefully uniformly, to follow the guidelines so that we keep everybody safe.
Dan Fouts 05:19
Yes. Going with your emotional angle to this. I just got an email from a student who is processing what this means. She’s a senior and getting ready to graduate. She said that all she wanted the entire semester was the year to be done so she could graduate. Now that she’s away from school, all she wants is to be back at school again. She didn’t know that she appreciated school as much as she did. She is choosing to react with a positive appreciation.
Steve Fouts 06:04
Yeah, appreciation. Absolutely. We hope you enjoyed Epictetus this week. Make sure you visit our Conversation Library where we have many conversations like this, each with a different quote, a sample claim, counterclaim, and an essential question to get you started. Take care, everybody. We will talk to you soon.
Dan Fouts 06:36
Okay, take care.
