“You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.” Janis Joplin – Goal-Setting

Transcript

Introduction: 0:00 

Hello, Steve and Dan Fouts here. We’re veteran educators from Illinois who’ve created the Teach Different podcast to model how to have unforgettable conversations using a super simple three-step method, and quotes from some of the world’s great thinkers. This method works with students of all ages and all types of classrooms, and can be used in online or face-to-face environments. So, if you’re a teacher, administrator, social emotional learning specialist, or anybody who loves the art of conversations, you’ve come to the right place. Welcome.  

Dan Fouts: 00:37 

Welcome everybody to the Teach Different podcast. We have a really cool quote this week from Janis Joplin who died tragically at the age of 27. She was a songwriter and famous during the 1960s, the Woodstock generation. She has a very interesting quote that we’re going to discuss today. We have a couple of guests tonight who will introduce themselves when they first participate in the conversation. We’re really excited to have educators who are just starting their careers. 

In terms of The Teach Different method, we’re going to walk through the quote and talk about the claim, what is Janis Joplin saying? Then, we’re going to push against it with a counterclaim, what’s another way of looking at the quote that also makes sense? Let’s disagree with her. That’s how you have a great conversation in the classroom. We’ll end with an essential question and some curriculum connections. That’s the format. Now, let’s get going. Here’s today’s quote, we’ll try to repeat it during the podcast so our listeners can keep it fresh,  “You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.”  What is Janis Joplin saying here? Who wants to start? 

Suzy Dean: 2:15 

Hi, my name is Miss Suzy Dean, I am a fourth-year high school teacher.  I actually teach at the same high school that I went to, and that my dad went to, so we keep it all in the family. It’s a lot of fun. When I read this quote for the first time, it was very clear to me that she was saying the anxiety that we feel as young people, the anxiety that we feel as students, or even as teachers, or in any profession, is essentially the thief of our joy. I feel like, especially in America, our default is to plan ahead, to see what’s next, what’s better. That’s stealing our opportunity to appreciate looking at a tree in our neighborhood and realizing that it’s bloomed with new flowers. It’s stealing our opportunity to close our eyes, take a deep breath, and feel the wind on our face; to appreciate the small things that happen every day that are fascinating and beautiful, and remind us that we are held. And instead, it has us ignoring those things, making worrying about things that haven’t happened yet our priority. 

Steve Fouts: 3:55 

Shannon, go ahead and jump in. 

Shannon Renshaw: 3:56 

My name is Miss Shannon Renshaw. I am a graduating senior at Rider University and just accepted my first teaching  position. I have a bit of a different insight on this quote and the teaching perspective.  Personally, I think this quote resonated with me as a student in the fourth grade. I started developing a lot of anxiety and depression during the time between fourth grade and a high school senior. I was riddled with anxiety, and was a perfectionist. I wanted to be perfect in every way I could. I maintained over a 4.0 GPA in high school while working two jobs. I was a varsity swimmer, and was in every club you could possibly be in, but I was miserable. I would come home and I’d be exhausted. I realized that this was not the way to live. I made a promise to myself going into my freshman year of college that I would accept less than perfection. Even though I made that statement to myself, I did not fail. I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, with a full ride to Ryder University and I maintain that scholarship. But I focused on myself more. I put myself first. I lost over 100 pounds in less than a year, because I focused on self-care. I stopped worrying about my future so much, and the catastrophes that I would create in  my head. I stopped worrying about making everything an “end of the world situation”, and accepted failures.  I think that’s something a lot of people need to learn, that failure is not failure. It’s a life lesson that is only  going to make you stronger and a better person. So, yes, you might want to worry a little bit, but don’t let it hinder your life. 

Steve Fouts: 5:59 

Your worry was about perfection, right?  Not being the best at something was your constant anxiety?  The minute you realized, wait a minute, I’m not going to be perfect here or there, did the anxiety go away? Did you begin to appreciate what you have?  What is Janis Joplin saying is my question to everybody. Dan, read the quote again.  

Dan Fouts: 6:29 

“You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.” 

Steve Fouts: 6:33 

What does destroying your now mean to everybody? What’s the emotion that’s the destruction of the now, or is that different for different  people? 

Shannon Renshaw: 6:47

I think it’s self-handicapping yourself. Being so fixated on the future, prevents you from enjoying your present self, and that’s hindering you. It’s almost like you’re compulsive and obsessive about the future to the point that you can’t  move forward. How are you living your life “in the today,” if you’re so obsessed  with your future self?. 

Steve Fouts: 7:15 

I get that, Suzy, how would you put it into your own words? Is it pretty much similar to that or what’s destroying the now to you? 

Suzy Dean: 7:26 

That was your original question, what is destroying the now and what does that mean? That means that I’m not present. I’m not grounded. I’m not experiencing what it’s like to be human. I’m not experiencing what’s going on around me, everything is just static. I suffer from severe anxiety and when I am in those stages of anxiety of planning ahead, it’s like everything around me is just static noise. Spending time with my friends doesn’t really matter, because I’m not there. My time outside walking my dog doesn’t matter, because I’m not there. I’m in the future. I’m planning for something that hasn’t happened yet. And, more often than not, I have no evidence that it will or will not happen. So, it’s just obsessive ruminating over things that I come up with on a whim, instead of taking the time to let go physically, emotionally, and mentally, to appreciate what’s around me. It prevents me from having the opportunity to learn how to trust the world around me; that the world knows what it’s doing. Everything here knows what it’s doing. I am just stealing the opportunity to watch in amazement as the world lays itself out for me. Wow, that was very hippie. I did not expect that. 

Steve Fouts: 9:22

Both of you said some really  interesting things and I want to capture one of them. Did your relationships suffer?  Shannon, did you say that you were or were not in agreement with what Suzy said? 

Shannon Renshaw: 6:47 

I think relationships do suffer when you’re obsessed with perfection. For me, I  want to be perfect in every aspect of my life, but some things fall short. For me it’s relationships because I’m so focused on other things, like planning the best lessons and making sure I’m being the best for my students. I’m only 22, and my friends are texting me saying, hey, do you want to go get a drink tonight, and I always decline. I’m like, sorry, I have to teach the next day, or it’s Sunday, and I’m preparing for the week, either meal prepping or preparing some lessons. I’m so worried about making sure my upcoming week is perfect, that I neglect my friendships, or my relationships with my family. I think when you push yourself in so many areas of your life, something’s going to fall short, you’re not going to be perfect in everything.  Unfortunately, for me, it’s communicating with my friends and family. I’m destroying my now, because I’m so worried about what’s next; constantly over-scheduling myself and not prioritizing my family and friends like I should. 

Steve Fouts: 11:00 

When you talk like that, it reminds me of my first few years teaching. This is my 29th year, so I’ve been teaching for a long time now, but I feel like I’m having a flashback. You’re so stressed out at the beginning of teaching, thinking about planning and trying to keep one step ahead of the kids. You realize that human beings are passing through your class, but you’re not even noticing them. I think that is where a lot of disappointment comes from, the stress of those early years prevents you from making those human connections with the students.  

Shannon Renshaw: 11:57 

Can I bounce off that? For me, it’s actually the opposite. I love connecting with my students. I will take time out of my day to focus on social emotional learning and building a community environment. On a Monday, I’ll say, what’s the highlight of your weekend, because I care. I just went to one of my student’s birthday parties. It was for a third grader, and it was so important to them that I came to their birthday, that I cancelled something else to go.  I knew how impactful my presence would be for them. It’s so important for me to always try to include community building activities in my day.  I want my students to know that I care about them as individuals, and that I want them to be mindful, too. Learning is hard, and can be stressful. Sometimes we need to take those breaks out of the day to  have a normal conversation about what’s going on in our life, outside of school. 

Steve Fouts: 13:11 

That’s really good to be able to do that. 

Shannon Renshaw: 13:18 

I think it’s important to take those breaks during the day in order for learning to flourish. If my students are burnt out, and they don’t think I care about them as individuals, then how are they going to learn?  Building community in my classroom can only be a catalyst for learning.  

Steve Fouts: 13:40

Well said.  Suzy, where are you on this? 

Suzy Dean: 13:41 

I agree, but I did not start out like that. As a teacher, I’m there now, but I started out with a program called Teach for America. I was working in a title one middle school in Miami, and it was tough. The way that the other teachers told me to teach was just not my personality.  Now, with my high school seniors, I tell them every day, and at the end of the period, I love you so much. I missed you already. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow. The vulnerability that they show me is incredible. I have to keep myself from crying in class with them. 

When I first  started teaching, I was fresh out of college and had no idea what I was doing. I knew that I wanted to get these kids to up their state testing scores. I was in a failing school and didn’t want the school to fail. I think my initial mistake was devoting so much time, effort and energy trying to make perfect lesson plans, perfect questions, and worksheets. I lost the opportunity to build relationships with them. I was so young, and I didn’t know. It also wasn’t the culture at the school. The school was focused on not failing, on not getting shut down. I spent my weekends making lesson plans, printing worksheets, and calling parents. I didn’t feel like I had the opportunity to get to know my kids. I think if I had the freedom, for at least the first few weeks of school, to just be myself, to get introduction letters from my students to learn about their lives, it would have made a whole world of difference. 

To go back to your last question, or your original question, about what relationships suffered, all of my relationships suffered.  I think that’s normal for a first-year teacher. I didn’t major in education. I went into Teach For America because I was afraid to ask my  parents for money for the GRE. Now, I can’t imagine doing anything else. I think it’s normal to throw yourself wholeheartedly into your first set of students; to try to be the best and spend your entire weekends reading boring textbooks and making worksheets. My husband, he was my boyfriend at the time, didn’t think we were going to make it. I didn’t see him or talk to him all week. My parents were very worried about me. I stopped eating. It was a stressful time. If my coworkers had encouraged me to be myself, to build personal relationships with students first, then it would have made all the difference. 

Steve Fouts: 17:21 – Counterclaim

It’s the personal relationships that suffer when you’re not living in the now, instead always anxious about the future. We’re going to move into the counterclaim  now. I want you both to think about somebody who you think lives in the now, appreciates the now, isn’t overly focused on being perfect. Someone who isn’t thinking about the future, or being ambitious about getting from A to B. Maybe they’re a little lazy, but I don’t want to think of it as negative. Think of someone who lives in the now; someone who would make Janis Joplin proud. What can we say about them? This is the counterclaim. 

Shannon Renshaw: 18:17 

I can jump in. I think if you don’t have a healthy amount of anxiety, or maybe stress, in your life, then you’re not being ambitious, you’re not thinking about how to better yourself as an individual. I think we can always better ourselves. It’s healthy to want to be the best person you can be, whether that’s in your profession or your personal life. When you have a healthy mindset for thinking about the future, where you’re not letting it hinder your life, then you’re helping yourself transition into the next chapter of your life. When you’re thinking about ways to move your life forward, you’re not hindering your life. Somebody who is completely living in the now and not thinking about the future, isn’t planning for anything to happen. You can think about so many what ifs but when you have a plan set in place, at least you have a safety net. When I look back at my old self, always anxious and worried; I was miserable, but that got me to where I am today. It helped build me and made me realize that I don’t need to worry so much. I can sit back and take some time for myself. I found that time by going to the gym. That is something I do for myself. I know when I am at the  gym, I better myself physically, so my mind will also be better.  Being selfish in some aspects of your life is good, but you should have a balanced approach. 

Steve Fouts: 20:07 

Interesting. What do you think, Suzy or Dan? I don’t mean to leave you out.

Suzy Dean: 20:12 

Oh, Dan, I don’t want to leave you out. 

Dan Fouts: 20:16 

I’m just enjoying the conversation. Part of being in a good conversation is being a good listener. I’m going to continue to do that. 

Suzy Dean: 20:27 

Okay, so thinking about someone who is living completely in the now. I wish I could do that myself, but I see how that can hold an individual back. I’m not like that, but that’s my goal. My baseline is anxiety. Planning A, B, and C always comes up for me with 12,000 situations that could happen and that I have to prepare for. That’s my baseline. I’m trying to counteract that, and I can see how someone who’s living in the now is not harming their body with high cortisol levels. They’re not stressing out; they’re enjoying, embracing, trusting, and living their human experience. They’re living the years that so many people wish they had the opportunity to live. When I say have the opportunity to live, I mean they’re not walking through life, but embracing it and being present.  At the same time, I really relate to what Miss Renshaw was saying. Most of my life, until maybe two years ago, I planned for college, and then I planned for teaching. Ever since I was in sixth grade, I planned. I would think, I can’t get to school late because I need to get into this school. When I was in high school, I would tell my Mom not to give me dinner, because I needed to study for my AP exams. I wouldn’t reward myself with food until after I got that done. I had half my college tuition paid for and knew exactly where I was going to college. I knew what I was going to do in college. Because I was so concentrated on that end goal, I developed the study habits and the habits of planning and prioritizing appropriately. That allowed me to get a 3.98 GPA with honors, join different organizations, and thrive within them. I’m so grateful for all those years.  I could have been bopping around having fun in high  school, going to parties, hanging out with friends, getting my late passes, stressing out the assistant principals by wearing spaghetti strap tops. That could have been fun. But I don’t know if I lived in the now, if I would be where I am today, living this dream. 

Steve Fouts: 23:38 

What I’m hearing from both of you is that you think you had to go through that planning and anxiety stage in order to develop good habits, but now you can appreciate “the now.” If you had never gone through the anxiety, you may have been rudderless. Maybe you know people like this.

Personally, I look back and think maybe it’s a developmental thing. As long as you do the right things, worry about planning, dotting your i’s and crossing your t’s, when you’re younger, then you can appreciate living in the moment. But, it’s hard to go the opposite way, if that makes sense. 

Dan Fouts: 24:35

I think this conversation is depicting the challenges of being a teacher. You have to literally live in two worlds. You have to live in the now and you have to be a planner. If you don’t do either one, you’re going to be off in this profession. I think with years of experience, you can appreciate the now. I always joke with the young teachers I meet about all of the things they have planned. Like you guys said, you have everything mapped out. They say how do you plan? It must be so easy now. My response is that it’s incredibly difficult now, because I don’t go in with very clear plans for my lessons. I’ve been doing this for so long, but I understand that the now has to be my priority. I have to react to what’s going on in front of me, the human relationships I’m building in the room, and then my planning has to flow from that. Experience changes how you teach. It’s a constant challenge. I kind of jumbled my thoughts, but you get the idea. 

Steve Fouts: 26:06

Now is appreciated. I have to ask, how are your students going to react to this quote?  Planning for the future happens at every age, so how are students going to react to this? Do you think that they’ll agree with the quote? I’m curious as to what you think. 

Shannon Renshaw: 26:30 

I personally think there’s a big correlation between stress and anxiety and the  pressures that American society puts on students. For instance, I worked in a  school located in Princeton, and a lot of the parents’ philosophy was that they  moved to this school district in order to get their children into Princeton University, or another Ivy League college. To me, that is a lot of pressure for their child. These students are speaking multiple languages, and are extremely intelligent. They play multiple instruments, are in numerous sports and other organizations. This mindset starts in middle school. I did a field placement in seventh grade. The teacher would leave to use the bathroom during a spelling test and the kids would cheat because they were so afraid of failing. They would rather cheat to get a better grade, than be honest and fail. There’s so much pressure on these kids. It could be self-inflicted, like it was for me, or it could be from your parents. The school decided on a no homework policy, and the parents pushed back, asking for homework. They said they came here for the rigorous education, and now you’re taking away homework. 

There’s a stigma in American society that we always need to do more, to be worried and anxious. We’re hindering our children. This mindset is something I think a lot of people and school  districts are taking a step back from, and focusing on social emotional learning. I just think as a society, we have handicapped ourselves. In order to  move forward, we need to be mindful of our own feelings and put ourselves first sometimes. 

Steve Fouts: 28:37 

Those students would be the perfectionists or the ones who are ultra concerned about grades. They might look at a quote like this and say, I don’t know about that. Suzy, what about your high school crew? 

Suzy Dean: 28:55 

I brought this quote up to my high schoolers, my seniors, and for the most part, they completely understood. I have a wide demographic. I teach the lowest 25% of our high school, the kids most at risk to not graduate, but I also teach kids who are trapped. They’ve taken AP classes their whole time in high school and are trying to coast through senior year.  Good for them, they deserve it. 

I teach a lot of different kids but they grasped the importance of being present with themselves, being present now, in high school and in their senior year. I had a whole bunch of responses from my students. One of my sweet angels said a lot of people get too stressed out, or overthink things so much that overthinking becomes their problem, rather than what they were worried about in the first place. My angels get it. Half of them are stressed about college – what’s going to happen in college and what they’re going to do after college – and the other half are stressed about graduating high school and what trade they’re going to get into. They have that temptation to ruminate over how they’re going to be successful, which can spiral into a whole other conversation about America’s definition of what success is. They think, what am I going to do to sustain myself? Am I going to find work? Am I going to graduate? Am I going to pass Miss Dean’s class? Am I going to pass my science class? Those thoughts are ever present and so important for them to have. That healthy anxiety pushes them forward. It seems like they have the emotional maturity to understand that thinking that way constantly is not helping them mentally. It’s not helping them appreciate who they are, or helping them grow into the best form of themselves. 

At the beginning, with my seniors, I implement social emotional learning. I have them write, and give them journal prompts. I have them talk about their feelings and write gratitude letters. I have moments of silence with them and share my crystals and how I meditate. I hope these efforts to encourage introspection and personal development have led to answers like  these. Over the past 10 months, they’ve understood that they need to be more present, and that being present is beautiful. The future will figure itself out. I’m doing what I can now, because now is all there is. I’m doing what I can now to make that future happen. All I have to worry about is what’s happening right now. 

Steve Fouts: 32:39 

Well said. I’m thinking back to my students. I did most of my teaching in an urban environment with underserved schools in Chicago. Most of my students were certainly in the now. Now, in a sense, because they had anxiety about where they were living, and the violence in their neighborhoods. It wasn’t a choice to be anxious, they had to be aware of their surroundings because of danger. If they let their guard down, something bad could happen.  That’s a different dynamic and probably another conversation. 

Dan Fouts: 33:30 

Steve, wouldn’t you say, with your students, it wasn’t anxiety for the future, because they didn’t think they had a future?  

Steve Fouts: 33:41 

It was questioning the future.  

Dan Fouts: 33:44 

That’s different.  

Steve Fouts: 33:47 

Again, that’s another conversation.  

Dan Fouts: 33:49 

That’s trauma.  

Steve Fouts: 33:51 

Yeah.

Suzy Dean: 33:52 

Thank you for saying that’s trauma. That’s the population I taught when I first started teaching. I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to say this, and I’m sure you’ll agree, these kids don’t have the luxury of worrying about the future. At least from what I  saw with my students, their parents didn’t expect them to go to college. That wasn’t their parents’ fault, it was just the lack of resources in their community. They didn’t have to worry about the future because they couldn’t afford college. They knew that it would be better for them, and their families, to get involved with gangs. That was a more sustainable way to gain income for their families. I completely agree, they didn’t think they had a future. 

I was incredibly privileged from the time I was three years old. I was in a cheerleading  uniform from the University of Florida. My dad went there, we went to games all the time, and college was always on my mind. For these students, they aren’t aware that they have the opportunity to do things like this. They don’t have people in their lives with the knowledge and resources, or access to college advisors, tutors, or people to help them with scholarships.

Dan Fouts: 35:37 

Shannon, can you imagine using this quote in that way? 

Shannon Renshaw: 35:40 

Yeah. I actually went to school in one of the poorest counties in New Jersey with the highest teenage pregnancies in the United  States. I lived a very sheltered life, away from the poverty around me. I lived on the outskirts of it. After college graduation, I went to my former hometown to pick up something from a friend’s house. We had to stop for gas, and the gas attendant was a 17-year-old boy. He noticed my sister’s college sticker on her car, she was a division one swimmer and got a full ride, and he asked her questions about the sticker. She said, that’s my college campus. I go to school there. He asked how she found a school in North Carolina? She told him she was a division one swimmer and got a full scholarship. He asked how she got that and what her major was? She said, I’m a pre-med major, and he asked all of these questions about why she chose that. When we left the gas station, my sister asked me if I thought those were weird questions. I said, no, he’s just curious, because nobody has exposed him to the opportunities outside of his daily life. It’s so sad that without somebody at his school, like a counselor or a teacher, or somebody else in his life who can teach him those things, he may never have those opportunities. He could be brilliant and have the biggest potential, but without support his success is hindered. That is so sad. I think there’s a disparity in education related to where you live. I feel sorry for children living in lower income districts, because if they don’t have somebody teaching them how to get scholarships, how to get out of their community, then they’ll stay and the cycle will continue. 

Steve Fouts: 37:58 

Yeah, and they’ll have to make their own way. Many are able to make their own way, and everyone has different challenges. I think what would make this quote interesting, based on the type of students, is the idea of fear, and what that means is going to be different. 

Dan Fouts: 38:25 – Essential Question

Building on that, I think this quote, and this conversation, is a great way to learn about your students, their backgrounds, aspirations, and fears. A lot of these conversations can be 20 minutes. You can start them at the beginning of the year, or just do it at the beginning of each unit. If you have 20 minutes of free time, toss it out there. During a short conversation like this, you can build personal connections. You can build them into your curriculum to get to know more about your students. That’s the value of this particular type of conversation.

Well, this has been a really great discussion. I really appreciate your perspectives and coming from different angles. I think we really looked at this quote in an in-depth way. I felt like we gave the counterclaim good oxygen. It’s not about agreeing with one way, you have to look at the other perspective. When we get to model that for our kids, they walk out of our classes as critical thinkers with the ability to make their own decisions in life. Here’s an essential question to wrap up here, just something to think about. Should we worry about our future?  

Thank you so much, Suzy and Shannon. 

Shannon Renshaw: 40:01 

Thank you.  

Suzy Dean: 40:02 

Thank you.  

Postscript: 40:04 

Thanks, everybody. We hope you’re walking away feeling energized by some great ideas, and are confident that conversations like this are possible. It just takes a little bit of planning and a three-step routine. Make sure you go to our Conversation Library to learn more, and try out some conversations we have ready for you. Don’t forget  to Teach Different with conversations and make a difference every day.