“It’s better to be alone than in bad company.” – Teach Different with George Washington

Transcript

 

 

Steve Fouts (00:00)

Welcome to the Teach Different podcast. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. We are coming to the end of 2025. We’re trying to leave with a little bit of a bang here. We’ve got our, this probably will be our last live podcast of the year, but we may do one next week. We’ll see. We’re going to take on a quote by, well, they say it’s attributed to George Washington. I think they found it in one of his journals and they don’t know who originally said it, but since they found it in his journal, they kind of gave it to him. But here’s the quote and well, before I say it, let’s just do the drill in 10 seconds. We’re gonna do the claim of the quote. We’re gonna do the counterclaim and we’re gonna do an essential question or two. And our goal here is to use this Teach Different method that we’re hopefully familiar with now to have just a really good discussion about something meaningful. And we’re going to be sharing our experiences throughout. Here’s the quote. It’s better to be alone than in bad company. It’s better to be alone than in bad company. What do you think?

 

Tr33 (01:26)

First, boo George Washington, he probably stole that quote. He had slave teeth so if you got slave teeth. If you will put another human being teeth in your mouth man, I don’t even know things you’ll do but any who. Yeah, it’s definitely So the first part we agree and so yes, I would agree with that and solitude, in isolation you can find out a lot of things about yourself. A lot of times when you are constantly surrounded with outer stimulation from people and influences, could fog your mind of who you really are as a person or individual. It could strip you of your individuality. Especially if you’re someone who battles with that already, like fighting their own identity and you’re seeking validation from friends. If you got the wrong friends, if you’re around, you got a negative group of friends and you seek to them for your validation, you’re only gonna be probably doing negative things to get their validation. And now before you look up and know it, have a, done probably did something you can’t go back from. Or you just altered your life to a degree where, you’re just in a way worse situation than you were when you started hanging out with these people. And it’s all stemming from your desire to be accepted or your desire to be welcomed or your desire to be loved. Yeah, in that sense, it would be in your best interest to be alone, actually, and not be with those individuals.

 

Steve Fouts (03:14)

Good stuff. Because it says bad company. It’s not saying it’s better off to be alone in all cases. It’s saying, hey, if there’s a bunch of negative people in your world and in your life and you’re feeling drawn to them or through your habits or through peer pressure or through not wanting to

you know, look different to them. If you’re feeling that you have to be around them and do their dirt and you know, all the things that they might get into that you don’t want to be a part of, then it’s a problem. You’re probably better off like sucking it up and just being yourself and getting away. The thing about being alone that’s challenging that people don’t talk about that I’ve noticed is that everybody will say, yeah, I just want to be off by myself. No, you don’t. Because that’s where all the memories, that’s where all your insecurities start surfacing. And then the minute you start getting that silence where no one is there to talk to you, you then run and go find someone to be with so you don’t have to feel alone anymore. I get it. I get why people are like that. I wish that more people would take that on. You know, and I guess especially when all you have are negative influences, all you have is bad company. Like I get it. I actually agree with the quote, right? Like my first reaction, yeah, I agree. You know, it is better off to be alone. I think it’s better off to be alone even if there’s good company. You know, I just like thinking. I just like doing my own thing. That’s just me though.

 

Tr33 (05:13)

When you alone, that’s when you can hear the subconscious speaking. And that’s when you can see like…The last, like the like, for instance, like when we’re around people, when we’re around, when we’re in society or just around people in general, it’s like unconsciously we create a character to present. Unless you’ve like built up, unless you built up your like. True identity, take ego death, take a lot of spiritual awareness, that take meditation, learn how to be in the moment, be in the now, take a lot of practicing. But unless you have that ability obtained, your average everyday life, you putting on characters to be around people. And you might not even be aware of it because you haven’t practiced nowness and stillness. So you don’t even know that subconsciously you being a character that your friend wants you to be. You being a character that your parents want you to be. You being a character that your coworkers needs you to be at work. But when you alone, you hit the real you. You your real thoughts, you your real feelings. You’re faced with your real true self and that character dissolves. It may be there for a moment, but once you go into like hours and hours of isolation with yourself, All that starts to slowly shed away. And like you said, you start thinking about your past, you start thinking about shit that you probably wouldn’t even want to think about. And that’s why a lot of people don’t like being alone, because that’s they have to face their true self. And they have been so comfortable and have been so conformed to the illusion of the person that the character they create. They’d rather stay in that, because it’s more comfortable for them. It’s more, they get more reward for it. It’s like instant gratification. It’s like, oh, I act like how everyone else acts. I get these results. I have this false sense of happiness now. The comfort. have this false of I have this false sense of self-worth. When I have this praise. A lot of people like being around people because they feed their ego. It’s like, yeah, man, you’re the best. You’re the best at that thing you do. And every time you come around, we always remind you how you’re the best at that. But we don’t know how you feel like you’re the worst at this other thing. So you come around us to always be reminded of how good you are about this one thing so you can ignore your own inner thoughts about how bad you are at the other thing. And when you by yourself, that’s all you can think about that, man. I suck at this. I suck at this thing. But when I’m around these people, they tell me I’m great at this other thing. So let me just go around them today. So I’ll think about. the things I’m not good at. Like, nah, man, that’s crazy. I don’t feel like, I feel like comfort, I feel like comfort is one of the worst things imaginable.

 

Steve Fouts (08:25)

Isn’t it ironic? Because we talk about it, like you should be comfortable, you know, shouldn’t have drama in your life, no chaos. You shouldn’t be, you know, putting yourself out there and being too adventurous and being risky.

 

Tr33 (08:40)

People are too sensitive about life for some reason. I think that people have this like… Fairytale idea about life that is like detrimental to a degree because it creates this illusion that life is supposed to be this fairy tale movie with only goodness. But Comfort is like, I look at Comfort as like quicksand. I feel like when you in quicksand and you like going down, I don’t feel like that’s an uncomfortable situation. I feel like it’s uncomfortable mentally because you know that you’re eventually finna suffocate and die. But I feel like the process of sinking through quicksand is just slow and calm and you know, it’s like not, it’s not scary at all. I mean, that’s like I said, the thought that you’re eventually finna go under this sand and suffocate, that’s probably scary. But the process of it is just a slow, let’s just go easy. It’s like an ease, you easing your way into it. I feel like that’s what comfort is. Comfort is like, if you get too caught up in comfort, if you get too caught up in your comfort, you will slowly sink into your detriment. It’s not gonna be something good. It’s gonna be a slow destruction. It’s gonna be just you, like for instance, like you’re too comfortable with. You’re too comfortable with your living situation, your financial situation. I could be striving to be the CEO of this company, but I’m comfortable with just being down here. I have ideas that can take this company to a whole new level, but that’s gonna take a lot of work. It’s gonna take me having to go out on the land. It’s gonna take me having to interrupt meetings and really put myself out there and… I’m too afraid of that. And you let your opportunity go past and the company you working for ends up getting closed down because the CEO currently didn’t have the idea you had that it could have saved the company. But you were so comfortable with your position, with the pay you were making. You were just too comfortable that you didn’t act. And now you don’t even have that job anymore because the whole fucking company’s gone. So comfort can be your enemy,

 

Steve Fouts (11:09)

Yeah. yeah.

 

Tr33 (11:12)

And the discomfort that comes from it is actually a blessing.

 

Steve Fouts (11:19)

And I get it. Well, like, I don’t know, I… Because the quote says, it’s better to be alone than in bad company. We got into this comfort idea because comfort is really the enemy to being alone. And I think that what we’re saying, tell me if I’m right, bad company, although it’s bad, it’s comfort. if we’re used to it. And that may be the hardest part about not being drawn into bad company. I feel like what the quote is saying is that, hey, you get caught up. Everybody gets caught up in some bad company sometimes. And sometimes that’s the exciting life. But sometimes being alone is that risk that you need to take. So I’m with it, I’m with it, I’m ready to switch. I’m ready to flip the script.

 

Tr33 (12:30)

Okay Being alone is worse than being stuck that like when is being alone when yeah go ahead you start with it. Being alone can be tricky too, seeing the fact that if you’re alone, but you are a threat to yourself, and you’re not in the best mental space, and you are being tormented by your own thoughts, and you can’t really think of a positive thought or a positive solution to your current moment of stress, They can be detrimental versus having friends around that can kind of talk you out of things that can kind of level you out even if that’s more so well.

 

Steve Fouts (13:30)

Even bad company though, Tr33, go with that.

 

Tr33 (13:34)

Yeah, I’m gonna say, even if you have bad company, let’s say. If you were alone, you probably were plotting to do something negative, You were alone and you were thinking about hurting yourself. And you got some friends who call you and they know you’re kind of depressed. So they say, hey man, let’s drink and smoke. Go out and drink and smoke, man. go to few clubs. You having depression? and you being suicidal, some people may argue you drinking and smoking would not be the best thing to do, but that may keep you from hurting yourself that night. There you go. Now, granted your friends know you’re married.

 

Steve Fouts (14:26)

There you go.

 

Tr33 (14:27)

They know you, but they don’t care. They still want to go to a strip club with you and get drunk and smoke weed and things like that that could possibly lead to you cheating on your wife. So they’re not the best friends to have, but That moment of you stepping out with them gets you out of your depression.

 

Steve Fouts (14:42)

It’s all relevant right? It could be better in certain situations to have some comfort with people that maybe long term aren’t the best people to be with but if you’re going like you’re saying if you’re going through something you want to hurt yourself you know you might need

 

Tr33 (15:01)

You wanna know what’s crazy? You wanna know what I just thought? All of Jesus’ disciples were like murderers, killers,

 

Steve Fouts (15:09)

You beat me to it!

 

Tr33 (15:11)

Yeah, like Jesus had the company of the worst people ever.

 

Steve Fouts (15:15)

So wait, you beat me to it. Go with that. Listen, if, I’m going to say it, if Jesus would have followed this quote, we wouldn’t have Christianity. He went for the people that everyone else thought was bad company and he wanted to reach out and share something. So my question, I think a great counterclaim to this is if you care about your quote unquote friends that are your bad company or just human beings in general that are misguided that you might have something to share with spiritually that can maybe get them out of their rut. If you have, if you care about people, you’ve got to hang out with the bad company because you’re not going to be yelling from a mountain telling them to come to be saved. You you got to get to their level and you might have to be with them for a while, but that’s part of like showing them that you’re not judgmental. It’s showing them that, hey, I can be around you, respect you as a person, but when you pass that joint around, I’m going to let that go. Or when you want to go and get someone else Like, you know what? You go do that. I’m not part of that. But I’ll still, you know, have fellowship with you. So anyway, I’m going with it. You said it, man, because that’s what I was thinking.

 

Tr33 (16:51)

Yes, exactly. Jesus’s company was like, thugs. Thugs. Prostitutes! the scum of society basically and he brought he built them up so yeah like I don’t believe in negative company I left you now unless you want some like Jeffrey Dahmer type level like unless you like like just really just psychologically you have checked out of reality as a human being and you no longer possess a soul and you’re just on the darkest limbs that’s different Even then, even though people still need help, but I’m not the one to help them. But unless you at that level, like I don’t really. Yeah, people are redeemable. should know once you get that back turn on them. yes, even company, instance, bad people still have knowledge. Everybody has knowledge.

 

Steve Fouts (17:37)

People are redeemable is what I’m hearing.

 

Tr33 (17:54)

So even just having, you can learn from being around- There you go. You can learn how not to be. You can learn what not to do.

 

Steve Fouts (18:08)

This is why I love this method. Because I am in the counterclaim right now. Because I have done this in my personal life. I’ve been with people that I look at them and I’m just thinking, you are crazy. And I’m going to sit here and laugh with you. I mean, it can send a mixed message. But I’m not judgmental. I’ve had people tell me like, hey, Fouts, you’re not judgmental. That’s why I like talking to you. And I’m thinking, you know, I think that’s a compliment. But here’s a question that came up as you were talking. What is bad company? Because if you look at Jesus and who he was with, we talked about like thugs and prostitutes and kind of like the lowest of society. You know, that’s bad company, maybe from someone’s definition. Someone would look at that and say, you know, those are not the respectable citizens. But Jesus might say, to me, bad company are the hypocrites. It’s the people in power who are abusing their power.

 

Tr33 (19:28)

Yeah, I feel like a bad person is better than a person that is appearing good, but is bad to me, because a bad person is showing, I feel like all bad people are a product of society and reality. So people aren’t bad, the society is bad, the reality is bad. It creates this, their environment, their upbringing. Yeah, everybody has the same 24 hours in the day to make a decision, but everybody doesn’t have the mental capacity or the emotional intelligence to grasp what they’re going through. to process what they’re going through. So you got to, like you said, meet people where they at.

 

Steve Fouts (20:14)

And you’re saying, so I get this, you’re saying, you know, a person that is blatantly, honestly bad is better than a person who’s sneaky, who will act like they’re something different than they are and they’ll backstab and do whatever.

 

Tr33 (20:30)

Yeah, backstab, manipulate, all of that. Like, the average street corner thug is more righteous than an elite one percenter who’s probably running a corporation because there’s no telling what levels of, like, instance, people that are running these big multi-billion dollar corporations, scientists probably telling them, hey, your products are adding to global warming. Your business is adding to the pollution of the ocean. You think they give a fuck? No! They want their money! But the CEO of this big oil company that is part of one of the biggest oil problems that’s fucking up the ocean, he’s not looked at as a scumbag. He’s looked at as a businessman. But the guy that sell drugs so his little daughter can have diapers, he’s just the scum of the earth. Oh my God, this guy’s pretty evil. Like, no, bro, like, I feel like Jesus knew that. Jesus knew that. The people that are criminals within broken societies, they’re not the actual evil people. They’re people that are negative due to circumstances. The people that have everything given to them and have resources and have wealth and have these things that still choose to be bad, y’all are the worst people. Because there’s people that are bad because they feel like they have no choice, they have no other option, they’re in survival. And then there’s you, you’re not in survival. You chose to just be a, so it’s like even the bad company of like negative people isn’t just always, it’s like sad to say it’s levels to negative, it’s levels to bad.

 

Steve Fouts (22:17)

That’s what’s coming out for me, essential question wise. Like I’m starting to look at that word bad. I think you’re going to get as many definitions of that as you have people that would talk about that in this conversation. And if that definition is not understood the same by everybody, it changes the life of the quote. You know, it’s better to be alone than in bad company. All of a sudden, people are defining bad in a different way, and it’s going back to this alone dynamic where it’s gonna really deal more with that comfort that they’re breaking by being alone and more of the individual kind of fear of being alone. Because I think a lot of people would think, hey, I don’t hang around with bad company.  My friends do. You know, people have trouble even evaluating themselves on that, but understandably so.

 

Tr33 (23:26)

Yeah, like for instance with me, I’m a gun violence survivor. I was a victim of, I had to survive gun violence due to the company I was keeping. And on the outside looking in, a person would say, oh, you hung around gang bangers that fought, sold drugs, shot at people, got shot at. That was bad company to keep. You’re a young man with a good head on his shoulders. Why were you around those people? But that’s just on the outside. All of my friends are good people. Like I know them personally. Yes, they may have sold drugs. Yes, they may shoot at people to defend themselves. But that’s not in totality who they are. My friend that shot at somebody was the same guy that helped the old lady across the street. The same guy that helped the old lady bring her groceries upstairs. The same guy that I watched, help a little kid at the basketball court learn how to shoot a jump shot. The same guy I watched take money out of his own pocket and buy all the kids in the neighborhood ice creams. The same guy I watched, you know, like it’s the same people that can do something negative will do something positive. So bad company is also subjective and object to the person’s perception. Like, Like for instance, some people say like, how do you go to prison and make friends? How do you go to jail and make friends? People go to jail and make friends in jail. They didn’t come home and still have correspondence with those people that they met in jail. And the outside people think like, how did you make friends in prison? There’s no good people in there. You met a good prisoner? Like how did that even? And it’s like, yeah, you you’re judging somebody just off.

 

Steve Fouts (25:31)

Yeah, that’s a so. Bad is subjective. Alone is more of an objective word. It’s easier to understand. Everybody knows what it means to be alone. The only thing I’ll add on that one is I think you can be alone in a crowd. Your mind can just be not participating in what it is that’s going on. And now that I say that. I think I just came up with another little counterclaim, which is this. You can be around bad company, but not be of it. You can be somewhere and not be taken in by it and controlled by it. So maybe the advice you might give someone is just kind of growing up. You got a kid. And you’re saying, look, you can go and do stuff with these people. I already know what they’re all about. I’ve been there, done that. You have to make your choices along the way. And you never blame them for anything bad that happens. You’ve got to take that responsibility on yourself. And I trust you enough to do that. So that’s one way to approach, if you can stay independent in your mind, think you could be alone in a crowd. And it doesn’t matter if you’re in bad, good, or middle company.

 

Tr33 (27:09)

Yeah, that’s how was to be growing up actually. Like my friend group, I was friends with two different gangs, but I never joined either gang. But my entire childhood, I was always in their neighborhoods hanging out. But that is, of course, obviously, as you can see, it came to my own detriment and eventually caught up with me being in these places. But I still was independently existing. I was independently…

 

Steve Fouts (27:46)

But that was dangerous. Is that what you’re saying Tr33? Because I was about to say did that keep you safe but after a while someone’s gonna think that you’re two-faced one of them

 

Tr33 (27:59)

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, that’s what I’m saying. Like in that type of situation, no one is gonna think you’re two faced based on how you’re manuevering. One, the two gangs actually, the two gangs started off as rival gangs, but we were so close in our neighborhoods and i grew up with different friendship groups that it was hard to not hang out with them. Because I mean not being initially in either I had the freedom to do that and the only thing separated both of these blocks was a viaduct, a train station. Actually you was you you taught at Austin.

 

Steve Fouts (28:41)

Is that that central?

 

Tr33 (28:44)

Yes. And central and race, like right under the viaduct. So the Green Line train is what splits these two blocks or hoods in half. And as a kid, The on the other side of the green line is the Austin Town Hall Park. The actual park or field house. It’s without a pool. It’s a it’s field house over there. Field house is a library. It’s a YMCA. On the other side with the green line is this restaurants. It’s a clothing store. I’m a kid that’s in elementary school and high school around this area. The restaurants on one side, the basketball courts on the other side. One gang is on the side with the restaurant. The other gangs on the side with the basketball court. Both gangs are filled with kids that went to my elementary school that grew up and have been now ciphered into each side and they chose whatever side they wanted, whether their cousins already in this gang or they’re just familiar with the people, whatever. But me knowing all of them, I didn’t ever have to make a choice. Even while they were beefing, it’s like they know that I’m neutral. So it’s not like I’m helping y’all jump them and then next week I’m helping them jump y’all. It’s not like that. So that was pretty, that was pretty, pretty safe. More so it was, it was dangerous for, for me or any other youth that is caught up in something like that because the enemies of these people, the enemies of my friends, when they drive through to shoot at us or when they drive.

 

Steve Fouts (30:31)

They don’t know your situation.

 

Tr33 (30:33)

Yeah, when they drive through and jump out a truck deep to do like a big gang brawl, they don’t ask, hey, are you really with these guys or are just hanging out because you’re their friend? Do you dislike me too because I like them? Like, I never knew why my friends had ops. Or what was the original creation of their beef with other neighborhoods? I just knew they had beef with other neighborhoods. And I was just like, man, I don’t know. why this is going on, but I’m gonna hang around and yeah, so to the Greek, having negative company can eventually invite negativity or bad.

 

Steve Fouts (31:16)

But it wasn’t your moral choice that got you into a situation, you were trying to stay above this and did your situation with the violence, did it just happen kind of randomly? No one was looking and targeting you, but you…

 

Tr33 (31:38)

yeah, no, I wasn’t targeting anything. I just, it’s a plethora of things that could have kind of contributed. The foundation of what happened to me is the government. The United States government creating ghettos, creating disenfranchised communities, then flooding those communities with drugs and guns. And once you do that, it’s only a matter of time before there’s a me, there’s a… There’s a, you know, this is like all simulated causing effects that were put in place before I was even born to transpire actually. But outside of that, yeah, just being in those, being in those settings, it’s gonna eventually bring problems because like we were saying, my friends, enemies are not gonna ask me like, what’s the level of the friendship? Like, okay, so you really. I just know that you’re down there so you I see you as. That’s it. that can definitely bring issues and.

 

Steve Fouts (32:47)

In a way, turning back to the quote as we wrap up, it’s better to be alone than in bad company. You could look at a quote like that and say, well, maybe in my case, on that day, me wanting to be alone was maybe a better choice. But it’s also, it’s not who you are. You are who you are now because of who you were then. You know, and it’s like everything’s connected. I’m sure you think about that stuff all the

 

Tr33 (33:22)

Yeah, it’s like, have multiple, I’ve had reflections on that. The first two, the first three years of me being in a wheelchair, that’s all I did was reflect on that decision that night I went out because I couldn’t, I just couldn’t accept that this was my new reality. So I kept playing back in my mind. Why did I get in the car at night? Why did I get in the car? Why did I get in the car tonight? What if I didn’t get in the car? And now 14 years later, being in a wheelchair 14 years, I think, what if I didn’t get in the car at night? I have been teaching at Austin, whatever, whatever became who I became. So it’s like, think that one thing I was thinking about was that how crap, how be talking

Crap, I just hit the thought. Isolation, isolation alone. It’s a lot. Bad company, bad company. I was thinking about how How bad company what was I about to say? Being alone…

 

Steve Fouts (34:41)

You were talking about replaying in your head. You know, what could I have… If I hadn’t have done this…

 

Tr33 (34:49)

Right, even though I was around negative company, guess so to say, I was still myself. So the being around a negative people isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Being around bad company isn’t necessarily what is gonna affect you and make you bad necessarily. It could, but it doesn’t have to. But being around negative… bad company can eventually put you in bad scenarios. Yes, it can put you in bad scenarios for sure, for sure, for sure. Yeah. But being alone can get you hurt. You can hurt yourself if you’re alone and you’re not in the right mind.

 

Steve Fouts (35:36)

That’s no guarantee either,

 

Tr33 (35:42)

So it’s just all I can think more so what I’m getting from that quote is. Build, build, if you build an incredible sense of self-awareness. Alone or in a crowd, you will be able to navigate yourself. But be willing, be understanding in that you could be around drug dealers and you could not sell drugs. But don’t think that you won’t get arrested I didn’t sell any drugs but hey I’m standing next to the guy that’s selling the drugs so in the police eyes you’re going to the station too buddy. The fact that we had it to Jesus was perfect and just how you know his company was was Shankers, prostitutes all these things. So it was like for his for his it was better to be around bad company than to be alone. Yeah. Yeah. Because if alone he wouldn’t have the disciples to help him get his message spread.

 

Steve Fouts (36:54)

And we wouldn’t be talking about him, you know, he wouldn’t have had all this influence and changed so many lives.

 

Tr33 (36:57)

And what’s crazy is that actually validated who he was. The fact that he was to gather some of the worst people, convert them, and move around with them and do worse with them, then even after he was gone, they still continued to work, being who they were. Because they didn’t change who they were. He didn’t change who they were. That’s right. I mean, he changed them

Emotionally and spiritually but they feel were who they were you had the abilities He still told one of them. I think it was one of me told them get a knife like yeah, get your sword get your knife like This ain’t this ain’t this ain’t a game like I know you kill people get your sword and get your knife for me. But take me now like you you doing this righteously now at first you was stabbing people for no reason now you gonna stab people for the Lord.

 

Steve Fouts (38:00)

I mean, find me that passage, man. gotta, but you got it, man. He let them be their outward selves and wanted to change the inner. You know, he wanted to work on them. it’s just, we gotta pick up that theme again in our next conversation. This was great. I’m sorry, Jarvis didn’t get really good connectivity, but we’ll get him on the next one.

 

Tr33 (38:24)

Appreciate the think different. I mean the Teach Different podcast man. It’s amazing platform and it’s amazing Like you said major dialogues and conversations that need to be had to spark that critical thinking. This is what happened to me in high school I had a Program instructor come she was supposed to be helping us with our SAT But like I did I’d like the SAT class was done. She wouldn’t leave she like off the clock do like critical thinking conversations and talking prompts with us that we didn’t know at the time was critical thinking. But she was basically like a social black activist that would like pose questions to us and often. And those conversations is what kind of sparked my journey into just like social activism and just being more aware of reality outside of the perspective of just being a teen.